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Helping Your Kids Set Aside Perfection With Julian Reeve

Today on the Dads with Daughters Podcast we spoke with Julian Reeves, author of Captain Perfection & the Secret of Self-Compassion: A Self-Help Book for the Young Perfectionist about the challenges of perfectionism and how this can lead you or your kids down a path that can impact one’s physical or emotional health. 

The big idea: It’s estimated that over 30% of the world’s population struggles with perfectionism—and it’s not limited to adults. Alarmingly, studies show that by the time children reach adolescence, between 25% and 30% experience maladaptive perfectionism, a harmful drive to “be perfect” that can derail a healthy life.

The so-what: From low self-esteem to depression, anxiety, and even life-threatening physical ailments that carry into adulthood, perfectionism comes at a steep price.   

No one knows this better than lifelong perfectionist JULIAN REEVE, whose high standards propelled him to the top 1% of his industry as music director of the Broadway hit Hamilton—and triggered a heart attack shortly after.

The key message: Now a healthy, healed, and sought-after speaker on perfectionism, Reeve offers fresh perspectives on how perfectionism is perceived and managed in kids and adults. He’s standing by to share:

  • The surprising differences between healthy and unhealthy perfectionism
  • How to help your child stay calm and recognize perfectionism when it strikes
  • 3 simple ways your child can build self-compassion, a happy perfectionist’s superpower
  • Key messages young perfectionists need to hear from parents as soon as possible
  • Proven strategies to help your perfectionist child develop robust and healthy coping techniques early on

The source: JULIAN REEVE is a former music director of the Broadway musical Hamilton turned perfectionism contributor, speaker, and author of Captain Perfection & the Secret of Self-Compassion: A Self-Help Book for the Young Perfectionist.

Learn more at julianreeve.com.

If you’ve enjoyed today’s episode of the Dads With Daughters podcast we invite you to check out the Fatherhood Insider. The Fatherhood Insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual and most are figuring it out as they go along. The Fatherhood Insider is full of valuable resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step-by-step roadmaps and more you will engage and learn with experts but more importantly with dads like you. So check it out today!

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Christopher Lewis


Christopher is the co-founder of Fathering Together and the Chief Information Officer. He is the father of 2 daughters that are now in their tweens and teens. He started Dad of Divas, a blog to share his own personal experiences in being a father in 2007 and in 2018 started the Dads With Daughters Facebook Group to allow dads to connect, learn and grow together. He works in Digital Media on a daily basis, but also has over 20 years of experience in higher education administration.

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